Monthly Archives: November 2009

God is good…

I’m at home today.

This may not seem earth-shattering to you.  In fact, it probably seems rather mundane and not even worth mentioning.

It’s weird because it’s Sunday.  I’m at home on a Sunday.  I slept in today, drank coffee, and read my Bible.  Now as I’m typing this I’m listening to David Crowder Band’s Church Music album and watching my pups look out the window waiting for my husband to get home.

Oh, change of plans.  Now they’re racing around the house beating the tar out of each other.  Lovely. :)

Life has changed fairly dramatically for us these past couple of weeks, but we are constantly reminded of the goodness and provision of God.  Every day we are reminded that we are blessed and completely taken care of.  Our schedules are definitely crazier with me still working during the day but DH having gigs mostly at night.  We still try to keep Fridays open to make sure we leave that time for us to reconnect as a couple.  We also get Saturday mornings to sleep in and be lazy together.

God is good.

There’s a lot less stress in our house.  DH goes to services on Sundays without certain tasks hanging over his head (i.e. setting up the sound equipment, hauling the trailer to the school, worrying about media issues) and because he’s mostly just playing keys rather than leading his stress level has all but evaporated.

God is good.

We worry about finances, but this is the first pay period that we haven’t received a check from the church and enough money showed up this week (from gigs, rental property, and piano lessons) that it pretty much covers the paycheck we would have received.

God is good.

We have to make tough decisions sometimes now that things are a little tighter financially, like not being able to visit either of our families for Thanksgiving this week.  We went back and forth for weeks before finally deciding it would not be financially responsible for us to make the trip to Indiana that we were planning, and we were so sad about it.  Instead, we spent our weekly grocery budget and worked together to make a fabulous dinner with enough leftovers to last us a week.  We spent two days planning, shopping, and cooking together and had so much fun.  I introduced him to scalloped corn and he introduced me to pinto bean pie (which I had for breakfast with coffee, by the way).  We didn’t just make a dinner — we made memories.

God is good.

I could go on and on.  We have seen His faithfulness so often through this whole journey.  Yes, we get stressed, and yes, we freak out about the uncertainty sometimes.  Then we remember that we’ve never not been provided for.  How can we worry when we’ve always been taken care of?

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Blessed…

This past week was rough.

Yesterday was the hubby’s last day at church.  There were tears and laughter  and lots of prayer.

Leaving was probably one of the hardest things we’ve ever done, if not the hardest.  We left a home, friends, a family.  We left a place we had poured over three years of work into. We left the reason that had brought us to this city.

We got up early Sunday morning.  5 am early.  We went through set up for the last time trying not to think about the fact it was the last time.  We joked around about how we wouldn’t miss some of the crappy parts, like unloading the trailer or putting the big awkward screen up or setting the lights up in the wrong order (which of course I did on my last day).

The service was just like any other.  Worship went smoothly and people sang their hearts out.  In the middle of the sermon our friend who was running sound accidentally bumped a power button with his knee and the microphone cut out.  Oops.  Ha.

After the service was over we hugged people goodbye and told them not to make us cry and gave final high fives to some kiddos.  And then we tore down the stage, just like every other Sunday except that it was the last time.  No more trying to cram every last music stand into the case or rolling dozens of cables or hitting our heads on the trailer while we load up.  No more giggling about something that happened during the set that no one else noticed or hearing DH jokingly give someone a hard time about something random they did or said or making plans for Sunday afternoon lunch after everything is packed away.

We were, needless to say, emotionally and physically exhausted.  We came home and laid down and didn’t wake up until 6 pm.  Even though we were supposed to be at dinner at 6:30.  Oops.

We walked in at 6:32.  I’m still impressed.

After a series of unfortunate events where the restaurant lost the confirmed reservation we had and couldn’t seat us all fourteen of us headed over to another restaurant down the street where we could have the patio area to ourselves.  We giggled during the prayer for some reason that I can’t remember now and ate yummy Italian food and enjoyed being together.  They gave us cards with some messages that made us tear up and some that made us laugh out loud.  We didn’t leave until it was clear we were being rude by staying because the staff were trying to clean up.

DH and I came home and processed.  It was a sad, pensive, hopeful, exhausting, affirming, awesome day.  Even now, one day later, I’m sad because I can’t remember some of the details (what were we laughing about during the prayer?).  We have such amazing friends that I can’t even put into words what they mean to us.  We are confident that these relationships will continue.  We refuse to have it any other way.  We are blessed beyond belief.

And now the adventure begins.  We cannot wait to see where God takes us next.

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Filed under *sniff*, blessings

Even so…

We’re in a bit of turmoil here.

Turmoil might actually be too strong of a word.  Uncertainty is more accurate.  Learning every day to rely on God’s grace.  Knowing in our hearts that God is our Provider even when our heads tell us that our decisions may not be seem smart to the world and therefore must be wrong.

My husband is leaving his job as a worship pastor.  We’ve been on staff with a church plant for over three years, and this coming Sunday — six days away — is his last service.  We’re going to try to make it on my salary and his gigs that he plays around town.

Why did we make the decision to leave?  Oh, lots of reasons, but the overriding factor was that we felt God was telling us to go.  We made the decision and waited nearly a week to take any action to make sure we left time to pray and seek wise counsel.

I know we’re supposed to go.  But it’s hard.

We love the people of this church.  We live so far away from both of our families, and these people have become a surrogate family to both of us.  They have triumphed with us and wept with us, and I know that there is confusion from some of them about us leaving.  Heck, we have confusion about us leaving.

When DH announced his resignation to the congregation, he was a wreck.  Total sobbing mess, which is not unusual for him as a sensitive guy.  I played keys in the band for him that morning, and I was losing it too, which didn’t help him when he turned to look at me.  Later on in the set we played “It is Well with My Soul,” chosen specifically for the occasion.  DH led the song again this past week at another midweek service he does, and I couldn’t look at him during the song without bursting into tears.

I’m proud of him for making the tough decision.  I’m proud of him for being willing to take a step of faith.  I’m proud of him for building a strong worship program that will hopefully continue.

This is hard. But even so, it is well with my soul.

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