It seems unreal.
We had our last Sunday at our old church exactly six months ago.
It’s been six months since I’ve been a worship pastor’s wife.*
It’s been six months since I had to help unload a trailer at 6:30 in the morning on a Sunday. It’s been six months since DH had a restless night of sleep because the responsibility of leading worship in the morning weighed so heavily on his heart. It’s been six months since he was working 50-60 hours a week to make each Sunday morning service happen.
It’s also been six months since I got to worship with some of my good friends. It’s been six months since I’ve even seen some people I care deeply about and who were a huge part of my life for years. It’s been six months since I’ve last seen the smiles on kids’ faces that made getting up early on a Sunday totally worth it.
The last six months have been some of the most challenging in my life, and though I don’t like to speak for DH I’m pretty (or totally) sure it’s the same for him. We’ve experience higher highs and lower lows than we thought possible. We’ve laughed together and cried together (sometimes at the same time!). We’ve had to disappoint friends and family by not making trips home because we couldn’t afford for DH to miss a gig. We have explored our city and found tons of cheap (and free!) things to do for our weekly Date Day. We’ve had weeks where we drove as little as possible because we needed to conserve gasoline until another check came in the mail. We’ve both celebrated birthdays and our wedding anniversary. We’ve watched some of our friendships fade because things can be just plain awkward sometimes. We have been given opportunities to do the things we love and actually make money at the same time, which is something we certainly don’t take for granted.
Through it all, we have seen God’s faithfulness carrying us through each step of the way. I am daily reminded of His love and His mercy even though I am so undeserving. I’m ashamed at my unworthiness yet He continues to bless us, and I’ll never understand it though I am so grateful for it.
Six months. Holy cow. They’ve been utterly exhausting, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23
*There is a remarkable difference in the reaction I get when I tell people my husband is a musician vs. a worship pastor. When I told people he was a worship pastor, it inspired a conversation about the church he worked for. Now when I tell people he’s a musician, I get an “Ohhh,” a pitying glance, and a change of subject. HA. ;)